Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
