Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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