no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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