I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
