so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
