When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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