your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
