maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I have post one night stand depression
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
