Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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