whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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