Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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