South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
