they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
