It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
