Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
