He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
