She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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