who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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