She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
