Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
