he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
