I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
