SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
