he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
