is your mom at the bar?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
