The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
