I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
