did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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