You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
