I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
