Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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