5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
