I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
