I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
