i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
