Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
