when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
