Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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