i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
