my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
