Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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