Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
