it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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