good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
