What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
