remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
