chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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