We won't sleep together?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
