I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
