i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
